Sweet Progress

Over the past month, I've had little time to write and for this I do sincerely apologise.  The truth is that I have little to write about.  Caesar has been remarkably well behaved and sometimes I forget to celebrate that enough.  Sometimes I need to remind myself of just how bad things could be 26 months ago when I brought home a jumpy, mouthy, noisy staffy who would just about scare anyone let alone the people who had signed a form committing themselves to owning him.

He's curled up by me on the sofa right now and I feel as if he's always been there.  I don't have to worry about what he's doing because he's usually with me.  He knows where he stands when it comes to my lunch and dinner, even, occasionally, when it's left unattended.  And, by unattended, I mean more that 1m away from me - if it's in a room alone, it's anyone's!

Perhaps the biggest breakthrough I've experienced recently happened a few weekends ago on the same beach which we walked Caesar on in his early days.  The beach where, after being yelled at by a man with two handsome golden retrievers, we avoided for a good few months.  I cringe when I recall the noise that Caesar was making that day; the screeching, the wriggling, the howling as the two yellow dogs sniffed and nudged him.  "Get your dog under control," the man yelled at me from far down the beach.  I remember holding back tears as I tried to yell back an explanation.  For some reason I felt apologetic.  Apologetic for trying to walk this monster dog.

Naughty or misguided?

Back in the early days, Caesar couldn't walk within a few metres of a dog without causing a ruckus that was likely to make even the bravest of people think twice about walking past him.  People would cross the road to avoid us and I would return from most walks feeling exhausted and tearful.  Walking was not a pleasure; it was a trial.  Soon, my parents began to decline beach and forest walks and, largely, I walked alone.

"She wants me to bring Caesar," I chortled as I told Damien about the sponsored walk.  "Caesar!" I repeated, for dramatic effect.  Chris, our dog trainer, has enormous faith in Caesar and has done for a great deal longer than I have.  On our first training session, she pointed out that he was intelligent and willing to learn.  I pointed out that he was noisy and kept looking like he was going to bite people.

I lured myself to the beach that Sunday morning by convincing myself that, should Caesar maul any dogs, I would return later, alone, and do the sponsored walk with Caesar.  I had kept myself awake that night wondering what the outcome of the walk would be.  Wondering if I could trust Caesar.  I deliberated over putting his Flexi lead in the bag and then decided that it might be useful to have if we did the walk alone or held back from the other dogs.

Did I hear you say 'beach'?

Standing by the graveyard wall, looking down onto the beach, I did wonder whether it would be worth setting off alone.  However, Caesar seemed surprisingly quiet and I felt a little reassured by his almost-silence.  By the time we'd walked onto the sand it had become clear that, to some extent, the walk was not going to be easy.  Twenty off-lead dogs darted around on the sand; chasing, playing, barking and having a whale of a time.  Caesar attempted to do the same on the end of his 1m lead.  It didn't quite work.



However, after around half an hour, it began to dawn on the ginger mongrel that he wasn't going to be let off his lead.  And, after this realisation set in, he began to relax into the walk.  I won't say he walked noiselessly but he did calm down considerably and by half way through, he was running around on his Flexi lead.  I have had to become a pro at Flexi lead management as Caesar can run quite fast so needs a quick hand to stop him ploughing into people.  He didn't get close enough to many dogs but he did have a little play with a lurcher who outran him by miles as they sprinted along the beach.

Fun on the beach

The walk back went much the same and, as we wandered, I looked at Caesar sprinting back and forth and felt a little tug in my heart.  A sort of proud mother moment.  I get them every so often.  A moment where I looked down at him and wondered where that awful, naughty dog that I adopted had gone.  I think I'll keep this photo forever; the moment when I realised how far we'd come...

Caesar and I (far left) on the Sport Relief Sponsored walk

The Dexter Dilemma...

So, for those of you who read It Takes Two to Tango, you will know the difficulty that we have been going through trying to get Caesar to be friendly with another dog.  It took us a long time to make initial bonds between Caesar and Tango but, now, it is clear that Caesar trusts his friend.

Caesar and his friend, Tango

When beginning to attempt to form a new bond, it's easy to forget the heart ache, frustration and exhaustion that you felt the last time you attempted to do the same.  So, when Caesar began barking and lunging at Dexter when we first met him, I was foolishly hopeful that this may only last for a short time.

Sian and Dexter preparing themselves for another eventful walk with Caesar

Three walks later and the rope burn on my hands was unbearable.  We didn't seem to be getting anywhere fast.  And, just when Caesar appeared to be doing alright with Dexter, he would, suddenly and unpredictably, jump on him.  Whether he was playing or not was an uncertainty that I wasn't willing to investigate.

Playful or naughty?  Sometimes it's hard to tell...

It's easy to get disheartened when you've just spent a good few hours on a cold evening being dragged around by your dog while it shows you up in front of dozens of people.  It's easy to want to give up.  I've been there a few times.  The only problem is, at the back of your mind, there's always a little voice that says 'could he be more than this?'  And it's this little voice that pushes us on.

We knew that Caesar could make friends.  The question is; how long would that take?

Today was walk number five with Sian and Dexter.  It was a cold morning and much padding had to be worn to combat the cold January air.  Given that it wasn't prime walking weather, perhaps I was a little more firm with Caesar than usual; I wasn't going to stand around in the cold waiting for him to decide to behave himself.  I decided, he would just have to be well behaved.

All wrapped up for our January walk!

For the first few minutes I marched with him.  He wasn't terribly behaved but did take a little calming down.  I was ready to do battle with him this time but was amazed when, after a few minutes, he settled into the walk nicely.  Some time after we began to walk, Sian and Dexter drew level with us.  Instinctively, I tightened my grip on the lead, cursing myself as I did for sending any signal to Caesar, but he was oblivious.  He gave Dexter a quick sideways glance and then continued to walk forwards.  A couple of times, Caesar tried to jump playfully on Dexter but, when told to stop, he did so immediately.  By the end of the two hour walk, I felt amazed...if a little cold!

Two good, slightly misunderstood, dogs sitting side by side...

Results
Today we managed a two hour walk with Dexter and Sian.  And, Caesar even had some time on his long lead.

There's still time to donate to SARA.  The Saving Caesar charity fundraising page shuts shortly.  To donate, please click here.

It takes two to Tango...

I don't feel like a particularly patient person.  I have been told in the past that I am.  However, I feel that these comments are not based on an accurate account of 100% of my personality.  At work I'm patient - that's a skill I need for my job.  However, once I get home, I hardly have the time to be continuing with my patience.  When asked if I am a patient person, Damien's response was "....I don't know."  I think this confirms it.

I try to be patient with Caesar.  Sometimes I manage for bursts of time - like in dog training or when doing our 15 minute flash training sessions.  However, at other times, particularly on walks, my patience with him begins to run very dry.  So, when Emma called at 8:30 on Monday night and asked if I'd like to try walking with her and Tango (something which Caesar has got used to) as well as Sian and Dexter (something Caesar refuses to get used to) I was a little concerned - I'd already used my share of today's patience.

The last meeting with Dexter had gone something like this - I wondered if we were ever going to crack this relationship!

My theory has always been that Caesar can and will get used to almost any dog if given time and maximum exposure.  This is how we got him used to Tango and, later, Gemma.  With Caesar, love at first sight is not an option.  Things take time and....well, patience.

Hastily, after walking a few metres from the house I offered Emma Caesar's lead.  "Can you take him?" I asked, looking pleadingly at her.  Emma has always been a saint with Caesar.  She saw the good in him even perhaps before I did and without a shadow of a doubt has had more belief in him than I ever have.  She knows that he is capable of impeccable behaviour and expects nothing less.  I, on the other hand, cannot help but embark upon each walk with a feeling of impending doom.

Not the view I'm used to seeing on a walk - but much easier on the arms!

The idea of Emma holding Caesar was two-fold.  First, I considered that my bad vibes might be projecting onto him.  And second, I wondered if Emma would combat his weird behaviour in a different way.

Firstly, and perhaps with slight relief, I noticed that Caesar was behaving in much the same way while Emma was holding him.  She wrested to get him to walk next to her and was holding onto the lead with both hands trying to stop him from lunging/running towards Dexter.  Sian kept a safe distance as Dexter too was barking and excited about the walk.  For a while, we walked metres apart from each other.  Emma in the lead with the squawking, squealing nervous wreck that was Caesar.  Myself in the middle holding the very sensible and well behaved Tango, who trotted along nicely.  And Sian at the back with Dexter who was barking with excitement.  Again....I'm sure my neighbours love me....
Thirty minutes into the walk and we had made a little progress.  Caesar was walking alongside Emma with small bouts of noiselessness.  When he did make noise, Emma held back with him thus removing him from me and Tango which is ideally where he wanted to be.  When he had a few seconds of quiet, she sped up to allow him to catch up with me.

Emma walking with Caesar.

This continued for almost an hour.  By which time, the gap had began to close.  Dexter was now walking sensibly beside Sian and Tango continued to be pretty much unfazed by anything.  Caesar was still squawking occasionally but was clearly trying hard to manage this by snorting instead.

By the end of the walk, the three of us were holding an easy conversation and, if only for five to ten minutes, Dexter and Caesar were walking alongside each other...

Caesar and Dexter walking alongside each other!