I'm sitting at my laptop with Google open in front of me. The same questions have been spinning in my mind for months. The problem is, I don't exactly know if I want to know the answer. If I did ever find out, I'm not sure I'd know what to do with the information either but that doesn't seem to stop me from searching.
"Lost dogs" I type, popping the name of surrounding towns into the box one after the other. Each one comes up blank. "Missing dog", "stolen dog". I don't want to believe that someone didn't want him. I want to believe that he was taken by some do-gooder and tied to the fence at the rescue centre. Or that he got lost and someone with the best intention took him and tied him to the gate. The common denominator is that in all of my visions he was not unwanted.
Caesar and I built an unbreakable bond in our first few weeks of being together.
Although it might sound pathetic, it hurts me to think that someone made a conscious decision to leave him. To tie him to that fence, to listen to him screeching so loud that he was heard at the nearby farmhouse and to turn their back and walk away. And, although this worked in my favour in the end, I hope beyond hope that whoever they are, they realise the mistake that they made.
Could you look into those eyes and walk away?
"I don't know how you kept him," people will say, "after all he did to your house..." Other's will imply I'm some sort of saint, "I couldn't have done it..." they will tell me. My answer is always the same, "I couldn't have taken him back and you wouldn't have either." But I'm not a saint. Not even close. You see, there's no denying that no matter how badly behaved he has been; Caesar gets under your skin. I don't understand how anyone could let him go.
I'm the queen of procrastinating. If I know that I have to do something, I find every other important thing to do before I address the important task. Yesterday, I had lots of work to do so naturally I; updated my blog, called my parents, visited my parents, went to the supermarket, visited my grandparents and finally arrived home with two trees for the planters which I then intended to plant. This is when I got a text message asking if I wanted to go out tomorrow. I did. So I thought to myself 'Come on Sian, if you want to go out tomorrow, you really must get some work done.' 'OK. Now what needs to be done?' I checked my blog stats, my emails, my social network. These were not things that needed to be done. "Shall we take the dogs for a walk?" It was now eight o'clock and, since sitting down to 'get things done' at ten in the morning, I had done none of my work. However, after yesterday's success, I was keen to show Damien how well behaved Caesar could be. I was going to take him off the lead on the beach. It was bound to be fairly quiet at this time of night and I, if a dog did appear, at least we could be confident he wasn't going to hurt it, at least not purposefully.
Unfortunately, there were more people on the beach than I had anticipated and I walked Caesar for a while on his lead. Eventually, I found a stretch of deserted beach and hastily unclipped him. The sky was darkening and the sand filled with shadowy shapes. Is that a dog or a piece of flotsam? Did I just see something moving?
It was hard to make out the shapes on the beach.
After a while, I suggested we turned around. Time was moving on and the beach was getting darker. Soon it would be hard to find our way back to the car. In the distance there were two shapes. They appeared to belong to a couple of teenagers who we had passed earlier. They were playing on the sand. Caesar was impeccably behaved and trotted only a few metres away before returning for a treat. "Good boy!" I'd say in my comedy voice handing him a smelly piece of meat. These treats stunk and I was pretty sure they weren't good for him, but, at the end of the day, he responds to them because he loves them and he knows when I've got one because it stinks. "I wonder how fast he can run..." Damien mused as Caesar came haring back to us for treats.
Caesar, where are you going?
A little further down the beach, Caesar's ears pricked up. He could see something that interested him. I looked around but there was nothing apart from the teenagers running back and forth. I assumed he had mistaken a nearby piece of tree for another animal and carried on walking. The next moment, Damien's question had been answered and Caesar took off at a sprint towards the running teenagers. Panic stricken, and remembering the time that he took me down on the same stretch of sand by lunging at my legs, I bellowed for him to come back but he just kept running. Luckily, the two shapes seemed to know what to do, they stopped running and began to walk towards Caesar, perhaps offering to bring him back. The instant that they stopped, he was no longer insterested, he turned on his heel and galloped back towards me and Damien, the thrill of the chase was gone. My heart returned to normal pace after a few minutes and I immediately clipped Caesar's lead to him. "You silly dog!"
Not what you want to see running towards you at full speed!
I couldn't believe, when we had seen the light at the end of the tunnel with one problem, we immediately come across another. Is there no end to his antics?
Does your dog chase? Have you or your dog ever been chased? What would your reaction be to seeing a dog running after you? Let me know in the comments section.
Making new friends is never easy. This is particularly true if you are a 23kg Staffy crossbreed who lacks social awareness. Luckily, a year ago Caesar and I found two great friends, following a rather eventful hour of attempting to do agility. Amazingly, for once Caesar's irritating screeching had caught the right person's attention. Emma and her dog Tango found us after the session and Emma offered to help me to socialise the noisy dog. We've never looked back since.
Caesar and Tango on one of their first walks together. It took Caesar 3 walks to stop barking and jumping towards Tango.
Until Emma moved around an hour away from here, we had walked almost weekly but over the past months it had been difficult with holidays and Fly Ball season in full swing for Emma and Tango. So, Emma suggested we visited her in her new house one night after work and, reluctantly, I agreed. It wasn't that I didn't want to visit Emma and I really looked forward to seeing her new house, my worry was that, now that she had moved in with her partner, there were four dogs living under their roof. Caesar struggles to manage one dog. I expressed my concerns to Emma who tried to calm them with promises of long walks and crates and treats. I tried to feel better but I couldn't help but worry. What if Caesar did something to one of her partner's dogs? 'Hi, my name is Sian and that's my dog Caesar, the one that is mauling your pet...'
When I pulled up outside Emma's house, an hour after setting off, I already felt stressed. I don't love driving at the best of times and after my recent breakdown meltdown, I didn't feel particularly confident. "Give me the lead," she said. "You're stressed and Caesar will feel the tension." Seeing me stall for a second, she repeated calmly; "It's fine. Give me the lead." I didn't feel fine. I felt like saying; 'Nice to see you Emma, lovely house but I'm off home now,' however, I'd come this far so I steadied my hand and passed the olive green lead to my friend. I would trust Emma to the end of the earth with Caesar. She knows him inside out and back to front. Perhaps, in hindsight, she knew more about him than I did. The person I didn't trust, was myself. If Caesar did something, I would freeze, I knew it. I liked to be in control, that was things didn't happen and I didn't have to react to them. "I'll let Tango in first," Emma was saying, getting Tango from the car, "Caesar can follow him in." Tango was exhausted, he'd been at 'daycare' all day where he has plenty of time to swim and play but comes home and wants to relax. Tonight, he would have no such joy as his boisterous Staffy friend wanted nothing more than to play. As soon as Caesar saw Tango his tail started to wag and he let out a few token barks. As we entered the house, and to my complete mortification, Emma glanced over her shoulder at me and said "I'm going to drop the lead now." I didn't think this was a good idea and said as much. Emma looked at me reassuringly, "it's fine." she said, "he'll be fine. And if he's not, we will pick the lead back up." Caesar bounced into the front room, three of the four dogs were there, including Tango, who was certainly not in the mood for his antics. Tonight, I would find out the truth about Caesar's reaction to dogs.
Tango was in no mood for Caesar's antics after a day of swimming and playing.
Jumping, barking and playing, Caesar was having a whale of a time. I stood, hands on hips, shaking my head in disbelief. Emma was smiling too. He sniffing and jumping on all of the dogs. Yes, he was boiserous and, at times, silly, but the reason behind his noises was confirmed; he wanted to play. All of this time, all of this crazy behaviour and the bottom line was that he only wanted to play. Unfortunately, the other dogs didn't and, at times did have to tell him this quite firmly. Caesar didn't appear to understand that they didn't want to play with him so pushed them to the limit at times but when he eventually did get the point, he backed away barking and howling confused by their reaction. I was amazed to see that Emma and her partner were more concerned that their dogs hurting Caesar. "You're joking aren't you?" I laughed. I let out a sigh that I'd been holding in for 18 months. There was nothing malicious about Caesar at all.
After only half an hour at Emma's house, Caesar (left) goes for a walk with four other dogs!
Fifteen minutes after we'd first entered the house, Caesar was in the garden with four other dogs. I watched in amazement as he found his feet with them. "He just wants to play," Emma told me, confirming my thoughts. I nodded. The walk that followed was the best we've ever had. Emma lives near a forest that is rarely used and suggested we allow Caesar off for a run, now we were certain that he was only being friendly. "OK." I agreed, a little more enthusiastically. Caesar ran around in the forest and surrounding fields for almost an hour and a half. He found a new friend; Zac, who possibly didn't like being chased as much as Caesar thought he did. Caesar liked him so much that he would not let him out of his sight, everywhere Zac went, Caesar followed over enthusiastically. He also found time to follow Pebbles and Phoenix, paying the least attention to his old friend Tango. I felt sad about this but concluded that, after a full day of swimming and playing, Tango was probably glad that his over-enthusiastic friend had turned his focus onto someone else for a change.
That can't be Caesar! Is it?
After our ninety minute walk, we sat and enjoyed a pizza while chatting about our success. Zac even began to lick Caesar in a show of affection, though he didn't like it when Caesar tried to sniff him back. It was ten o'clock before I knew it and, with an ongoing feeling of elation at our success, I popped Caesar in the car and, thanking Emma, set off for home. Caesar was silent for the whole trip and only woke up when we pulled up outside the familiar townhouse that we call 'home'. Making new friends is tiring work!
For us, walking is always a major event that requires planning and equipment. The first stage of planning is to identify a good walking location; if the weather is bad, then the beach is good, if the weather is good then the beach is the worst place to go. Among his other issues, Caesar likes to scream and run towards other dogs. It's highly embarrassing, particularly when people seem to see this as a threat and either freeze or move quickly in another direction. Dogs, on the other hand, seem to see this as an invitation and many come over and investigate the strange noise thus making Caesar cry even louder. This odd reaction has led me to believe that Caesar is not any threat to them and therefore the noises are either excitement or untamed nervousness. In short, when we go for a walk, Caesar needs to remain on the lead and on his head collar at all times. I feel sorry about this as his favourite thing is to have a good run and his recall is excellent so I would never have to worry about him running away. My only concern would be what he did before he came back!
When we walk, I use an 8m extendable lead to keep control of Caesar and I'm well my way to becoming a pro at the 'click and yank' method, which is helpful for reeling him in if another dog gets to close. As I explained before, Caesar has both an electric blue collar, an electric blue head collar an electric blue extension lead. Why then do people feel that it's acceptable to allow their dogs to run up to him despite the combination of warning signs provided by me and the fact that he is screaming?
Yesterday, on the beach, I came across two women and a very energetic Labrador. The Labrador was bouncing around the beach reasonably far from them as they chatted and wandered along. Gemma was off her lead and, as a rule, is very good with other dogs but as she has been known to be defensive if they approach her, I quickly snapped her lead back onto her harness. It took two seconds but it was a good job that I did! The Labrador bounded up and put its young face uncomfortable close Gemmas. She barked a warning at it but it paid no attention. By this time, Caesar was inconsolable and was spinning in circles, wrapping me up in his lead as he did. This odd behaviour interested the Labrador and he instantly moved his focus onto Caesar. For a while, he followed us along the beach to the tune of Caesar's barking, howling and screaming without a word from his owner to bring him back. Sometimes I wished that I was more outspoken and could just march up to the couple and explain that every time something like this happens, it has a negative impact on Caesar, who was beginning to manage to ignore dogs who were running close by. I wanted to shout at them all of the things we've been through to try to get him to accept other dogs. How, unbelievably, we'd just sat in a cafe with a dog at the next table and he hadn't screeched or tried to get to it. And how this major improvement may just have been undone by the fact that she was too busy talking to her friend to do anything about her out of control dog. Of course, I didn't say anything.
I'd learnt a few weeks after adopting Caesar, how ignorant people can be to dogs with his disposition. As I had stepped down onto the beach one spring morning, I was relieved to see there was only a few people out walking their dogs but, as the tide was out, they were a safe distance away. The nearest person was by the sea with two Golden Retrievers that were chasing each other back and forth. Despite their distance, Caesar noticed them immediately and began to screech. The next moment, the two Golden Retrievers were sprinting up the beach towards us, their owner was a dot in the distance. My dad grabbed Caesar who was now struggling and writhing on the end of his lead and called to the man to 'bring his dogs under control please.' I couldn't believe it when moments later the man began marching up the beach towards us, he was yelling something at me that I couldn't make out. The dogs were either side of Caesar and were sniffing around at him. Caesar was howling so loudly that it was impossible to hear the subject of the stranger's shouting. As he moved closer, I suddenly realised the horrifying truth behind his yells "dog's like THAT shouldn't be in a public place like THIS!" he yelled at point blank range. "You're dog is out of control! Get it off the beach!" I felt a lump start to form in my throat as I took Caesar's lead and marched him back across the sand. I had garbled something about rescue dogs and unfair comments but the stranger replied with equally painful comments about Caesar's breed and nature.
The truth is, many dogs are not bomb proof and dogs like these Labradors may well end up being injured by a dog who is on lead and, as much as possible, under control. My heart truly goes to other owners who struggle with an anxious dog as, on this day, I learnt how cruel and arrogant people can be. Luckily, as I previously stated, Caesar does not appear to be aggressive towards other dogs and I've never seen him attempt to hurt one. However, there are plenty of dogs that, given a stressful situation such as this, would. It was months before I braved the beach again.
A fantastic website for dogs with similar problems to Caesar is www.yellowdog.co.uk and, if the screaming alone does not do it, indicates to other dogs that your pooch needs space. Caesar and I are awaiting our first yellow dog jacket. It makes me sad as his behaviour around people is impeccable and the coat may mean that he loses the opportunity for a fuss but I have concluded that it may well be worth it.
Does your dog have any phobias? Do you know a dog that does? Have you ever heard of or used Yellow Dog? I'd love to hear your comments.
